Hey everyone, it’s me, I know, I know, I haven’t blogged in a while, and I’m kind of out of practice, I guess there’s not much to it though, just write what I’m feeling, I guess that’s why I haven’t done it in a while, it’s hard to put how I feel into words . . . anyway, for those of you who don’t know, it’s coming up on one year since Brads death. It hasn’t been easy . . . but, that wasn’t ever a promise now was it. He didn’t say it would be easy, He only said that we will never walk alone. People tend to think that if they are a Christian that life is supposed to be all roses and sunshine when the cold hard truth is that life is full of crap sometimes, and even more so when you are a Christian, I mean, if you’re not rocking the boat then what’s the point of Satan trying to bring you down. I’ve had almost a year to think, and I’ve come to the conclusion that this very short life is just the beginning, a preview if you will; the real thing is what we have after this life. God has promised us a perfect life, in a perfect place, a beautiful place with beautiful mountains and rivers, waterfalls and rainforests and star filled skies . . . more wonderful then we can ever imagine. And the best part is that when we get there, we won’t have all the crap that makes this world so sad. No more sickness or pain, no disease or hunger, no death, we won’t have to live in fear that the one’s we love will be taken from us, we’ll live everyday in loving grace with our loved ones and most importantly, we’ll be able to see the one who made it all possible, I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to the day when I can sit with Brad, in the swing on the front porch of the home being built for us, and see Jesus coming up the walk. To have Him sit down with us and talk with Him about all the things we went though, to remember the times when I was hurting and knew He was there, wrapping His arms around me just to let me know it was going to be okay, to ask Him, “Was that you? Did you hold me that night? Were you really there?” I can only imagine the conversations I’ll have with Him, and so many others. I can’t wait to meet my Great Grandmother, my cousin, Brad’s Grandfather, and of course some of my favorite people form the Bible . . . Ruth, Eve, Sarah and Abraham, David, it’ll take all eternity to meet and make friends with everyone. I’m looking forward to the long walks with Brad down the streets of gold, going swimming in the river of life, visiting other worlds, I’ve always wanted to walk on the moon . . . I could go on forever. I’ve found over the last year that people seem to think that I was going to be angry with God for all that I’ve gone through, but I don’t understand that. Why would I be angry with the only one who can make life worth living? He not only gave me life in the first place, He saved my soul from Hell, and God knows I deserve it, but He didn’t want me to go there. I heard a song that summed it up pretty well; it said “He would rather die then to ever live without me.” Why He loves me that much I’m not sure, but He does. After Brad died, people told me, “Just don’t be angry with God.” But, again, God’s the one who brought Brad and me together in the first place, and God’s the one who promises that we will have forever together. Brad and I had a lot of deep conversations about things, why some things happen, and he said "We don't have to understand it, we don't even have to like it, we just have to accept it and trust that God sees the road ahead and we don't, He knows how things will work out, and He promised that all things work together for good to those who love the Lord. God doesn't make mistakes; we just can't always see the whole picture." He even made the comment four days before he died that he was so excited to think that we don’t just have the rest of our lives together, we have the rest of eternity. So I ask you, how can I be mad at God when He has given me a promise like that to hold on to? He just took Brad home a little sooner the He’s going to take me. But, I’ve come to the very real truth that in 100 years, most of the “big issues” we have are not even going to matter. I’m going to be dead in 100 years, you’re going to be dead in 100 years, and then the only thing that’s going to matter is if we trusted Jesus to save us, or did we reject Him. Will we be in Heaven, or Hell? I pray that God will use me in the short time I have left on this earth to touch as many people as I can. To let them know that Jesus died for them just like He did for me, and that every one of us has that same promise that I’m so excited about. But, just like any gift, even though it’s being offered, if you don’t reach out and take it, it’s not yours.
If you have read this far in my blog, I’m guessing you ether care about me, or at least are somewhat interested in what I’m talking about, either way, I pray you will be there with me on the other side. I want to spend eternity with everyone I love, please be there.